Hollow

Its been a really hectic month for me. September must've been the worst month for me this year. I'm trying to cope with everything around me. I lose my temper sometimes and I feel down without a reason. Well maybe there are several reasons that made me down. Forget about that. Let's continue on with the story.

I've been going up and down hills of emotions. One day I'm happy and the next I'm not. Its so stressful nowadays. I wish I have a skip button for September and just fast forward myself to October. I don't know why but I lost my appetite lately and my body keeps on shaking whenever I'm stressed. This is so not healthy. I haven't got the chance to go out and just chill out.. Due to this stupid examination. I thought I've grabbed hold of my negativity and threw them out the window but boy how I was wrong. At least its not as worse as it was 2 weeks ago. I need help but I don't know where should I turn to. Everyone is busy with their own lives and I'm here standing all alone under the rain. Holding myself together for a slight sense of warmth. Its cold and I'm alone. Maybe I'm over thinking things or maybe I'm not. I noticed that I've grown further away from people who I'm close with. Or might as well call it people who I'm USED to be close with.

About yesterday...

I was so upset at someone for not replying any of my text messages and made me feel like a dumbass waiting for a reply. I could have just let go of it if it was a one time thing but this one no. I was extremely furious and I kind of scolded him for it. Maybe its his way of texting but seriously, is it hard to even reply a simple OK for several text messages ? After what happened last night, my body went haywire cause I can't control my hands, in particular, from shaking. Maybe its a sign from my body that it can't handle anymore stress. After several hours.. I rethink of what I did and what I did was inappropriate. It made me regret that I might've hurt my best friend for such stupid thing. I could always forgive and forget but maybe this time it's because everyone who I used to open up to are no longer here for me and that I needed at least one friend to open up with and as I texted that person, that person didn't give any response whatsoever. I feel bad at the same time I feel stupid. I don't know what will happen tomorrow but I hope everything is still OK between us. 

HOW STUPID CAN I BE WHEN I'M ANGRY.