Tuesday, 25 October 2016

Paper Boat

Drifting as the current carries you away. Not knowing where you would end up at but one thing for sure is that you are actually going somewhere. No control over your directions, you feel as if you are powerless and empowered at the same time. The skies turn dark and the waves are crashing harder than before. You wonder upon whether you would survive this. You look back at land and saw that there is nothing there to keep you from drifting even further away. All hopes and dreams faded the moment you were folded into the shape that you are. Just as you see a ray of light coming through the gloomy sky, a rock decided to keep you anchored. You feel a sense of relief as you have a friend to keep you company while the storm passes. Yet, like the storm, the rock decides to let go of you as soon as the sky turns blue again. 

Alone yet again, drifting... slowly fading... 

Until you can no longer hold the water from entering your body. You decide to let go. 

Sinking... slowly torn...

You feel finally at peace.

Try

I don't know why I bother trying. I find it pointless now.
I don't know why I'm writing this at 3am but I just feel like writing now.
There's a high possibility of me deleting this post in the future but let's just see how it goes.

I am trying that's all I can say. I don't know how much longer will I last but we'll see.
Trying to hold on to every bit of positivity you have left in your life. I'm not sure why I even try to because it's pointless.

I really miss writing tbh. I haven't been focusing in a lot of things lately. That, too, I don't know why.
Perhaps this is my "idk" stage of my life. I feel so tired of trying to do things I couldn't be bothered now even.

I guess that's one reason why I temporarily deactivated my instagram account. Not to say that I'm trying to achieve something but just that I feel tired because I feel that there's a constant stress of expectancies even though there aren't any. One reason why I've chosen not to tell anyone when I'll be back in KK this time. I just want things to myself.

I'm not sure what I want anymore now.